how to free yourself

Do What You Want, Within Legal and Moral Bounds
Live your life freely, but respect the rights of others.
Ensure that your actions are within the confines of legal and moral laws whenever possible.

Say No to Dishonest, Abusive, or Manipulative People
Stand your ground and keep saying no to those who exhibit abusive
or dishonest behaviour until they go away. Do not accept lies.
Do not allow them to keep building false narratives.

Identify Exploitative Behaviour
Recognize when someone is trying to exploit you through manipulation, lying, financial dishonesty or controlling behaviour.

Beware of False Control and Power
Bullies pretend to have more control and power than they actually do. Abusers tell victims they cannot survive without them. This is untrue. They try to gaslight you into believing you are powerless.

Seek Proof Before Believing Others
Be cautious of those who try too hard to charm, ingratiate, manipulate, and impress. People who make the effort to be charming may want something from you or have something to hide. Most people do not try to be socially deceptive.

Be Cautious of People Without Empathy
If someone lacks empathy or has a history of cruelty, be very careful. Such individuals may eventually direct their negative behaviour towards you.

Recognize Victim-Blaming
Abusers blame the victim. Be aware when someone takes credit for every success. while blaming others for any negative outcomes.

Do Not Let Abusers Break You Down
Continuous criticism and demeaning behaviour are designed to break down your identity and self-respect. Leave if you encounter this behaviour. Go for help. Seek help from the many resources available like the NHS, charities, support groups, friends and family.

Understand the Meaning Behind Words
Always consider the purpose behind someone’s words.
Determine what they are trying to manipulate you into doing, saying, or thinking.

Recognize your Vulnerabilities
Bullies target vulnerable people. They look for people who cannot say no. Be aware of your vulnerabilities and try to meet your needs in healthy ways.

Do the Right Thing, Regardless of Peer Pressure
Uphold your moral and legal integrity, regardless of external pressure. The people pressuring you now will not necessarily be around in the long term.

Know Your Worth
No one has the right to treat you as anything less than a human being. Abusers who disrespect your basic human rights will never change. Do not keep people who are abusive in your life.

Maintain Independence
Do not be controlled by or be totally dependent on anyone.
Those who love and respect you will allow you freedom.

Seek Safety
Abusive people and systems rely on isolating and weakening social attachments. Go to a place of safety. Maintain regular contact with friends and family.

Involve the Law
Abusers often fear the police. Do not hesitate to go to the law if necessary.

Keep Evidence of Abuse and Dishonesty
Document any abuse or dishonesty. Go for help and tell someone trustworthy or the police whenever necessary.

Live in Balance
Kindness to others is vital. We all love people who are kind to us. Love others. Strive to balance your needs with those of other people and the outside world.

Use Good Judgement
Even if many people believe something to be true, it does not mean it is ethical or right. Use good judgment and be prepared to say no to things that make you uncomfortable.

You will always be you
Remember that you define who you are. Do not let others tell you who you are or what you think or feel. Do not let anyone change the most important aspects of yourself.